Post by River S on Dec 31, 2019 19:19:34 GMT
It has been a long, long time since I looked in here! But I had a serious question, and I'm not sure where to ask it. I had tried to find the Apron Strings blog because I thought it might be appropriate to ask there, but it seems to be inaccessible again.
Lately I've been really trying to get into the Rosary. There's always been something appealing about it, and I love making them. I have several sets that I have put together myself, and I wonder if perhaps that is where the problem lies.
I've been praying a Rosary a day for a little while, and the past couple of days, I've been praying a 'complete' Rosary (that is, three times through, or 150 repetitions) in response to a difficult situation in my life where I feel like it was put on my heart to pray it.
Last night was the second time I've prayed a 'complete' Rosary, and it's been difficult. Praying the number of prayers is not too bad; it's really felt like getting to that third round was actually the better portion of it because it seemed to really affect me in a profound way. No, the difficult portion was sudden slip ups, and interpolations of completely different words. They would come out of my mouth so naturally as to really shock me and make me afraid - the worst of these was when I was praying the 'Glory Be' and said "Absolute Sin" instead of "Absolute Deity" and immediately this terror came over me. Of course, I immediately stopped to correct myself, and brushed it away as I was just up a bit late, I had been saying the same things over and over, so of course it would be natural to have mistakes, and that my prayers wouldn't be taken in such a way - it would obvious it was a simple mistake and it wouldn't be a problem. So I went to bed.
I had absolutely horrible nightmares concerning a terrifying demon prowling in the house that I was trying desperately to fight off, to protect my family. Once I woke up, I figured that it was just my brain 'making stuff up' as it were, since I had had that moment of fear last night before sleeping, and that it wasn't really some portent of anything evil. It was hard to shake off, but I made myself. Until I got up and heard everyone else talking about their nightmares. My Mother said she'd had one where she was in a terrible place, but a deceased relative of hers was in her dream, holding her tight and nothing bad or scary happened. I believe it was because she was protected by that relative. But my younger siblings were really affected by their nightmares, and I can't shake that maybe it's because of me.
I don't want to continue praying the rosary, but at the same time, it felt like praying it was important to address the situation I'm dealing with. If it's going to end up bringing evil to the house though....I don't know what to do about it. I'm really hoping someone still visits here and can bring any insights into this, or has any good advice?
Lately I've been really trying to get into the Rosary. There's always been something appealing about it, and I love making them. I have several sets that I have put together myself, and I wonder if perhaps that is where the problem lies.
I've been praying a Rosary a day for a little while, and the past couple of days, I've been praying a 'complete' Rosary (that is, three times through, or 150 repetitions) in response to a difficult situation in my life where I feel like it was put on my heart to pray it.
Last night was the second time I've prayed a 'complete' Rosary, and it's been difficult. Praying the number of prayers is not too bad; it's really felt like getting to that third round was actually the better portion of it because it seemed to really affect me in a profound way. No, the difficult portion was sudden slip ups, and interpolations of completely different words. They would come out of my mouth so naturally as to really shock me and make me afraid - the worst of these was when I was praying the 'Glory Be' and said "Absolute Sin" instead of "Absolute Deity" and immediately this terror came over me. Of course, I immediately stopped to correct myself, and brushed it away as I was just up a bit late, I had been saying the same things over and over, so of course it would be natural to have mistakes, and that my prayers wouldn't be taken in such a way - it would obvious it was a simple mistake and it wouldn't be a problem. So I went to bed.
I had absolutely horrible nightmares concerning a terrifying demon prowling in the house that I was trying desperately to fight off, to protect my family. Once I woke up, I figured that it was just my brain 'making stuff up' as it were, since I had had that moment of fear last night before sleeping, and that it wasn't really some portent of anything evil. It was hard to shake off, but I made myself. Until I got up and heard everyone else talking about their nightmares. My Mother said she'd had one where she was in a terrible place, but a deceased relative of hers was in her dream, holding her tight and nothing bad or scary happened. I believe it was because she was protected by that relative. But my younger siblings were really affected by their nightmares, and I can't shake that maybe it's because of me.
I don't want to continue praying the rosary, but at the same time, it felt like praying it was important to address the situation I'm dealing with. If it's going to end up bringing evil to the house though....I don't know what to do about it. I'm really hoping someone still visits here and can bring any insights into this, or has any good advice?
